The (actual FBI questions of folk in my home town) questions and …the right answers (not only by the town folk but by me)? To get that first super-duper clearance back in the way back? No secret docs in my garage by the way, try the basement! Here is the real list of topics. From the 70’s. My answers.
Allegiance to the United States? So far.
Foreign Influence? Sauerkraut, pork hocks, and bratwurst.
Foreign Preference? Women.
Sexual Behavior? Women, if one says yes.
Personal Conduct? Mostly a slouch.
Financial Considerations? Minimal.
Alcohol Consumption? None yet, but just you wait!
Drug Involvement? None, but I drug myself to school most days.
Emotional, Mental, and Personality Disorders? Yes!
Criminal Conduct? Yes! Never convicted.
Security Violations? Rarely locked the chicken coop.
Outside Activities? Almost all of them. It was warmer than in the house.
Misuse of Information Technology Systems? Stole the 27th letter of the English alphabet. spelled it sly, sigh, psi, sy, scythe, or Sylvester (the actual symbol is still classified). However, we psychically filed a (multiple intuitive personality) class action suit against quantum physics (in general and MIT in specific) for services previously rendered and the inappropriate Hilbert space use of my quantumly entangled name. I will settle for complex harmony. Or real money, which ever comes first.
I was successful in the extreme. You have not been nuked or financially nuked, yet. And I do mean yetski.
Evidently I am the solution to improbability, per quantum physics. An equation that never wavers.